I wrote this song for you And I hope you'll enjoy it Sure some may not understand But only you should care I wrote this song for you And every word is true I hope that I may be yours someday These words are truthful in what you hear If you don't believe me, then you don't have to listen I want to be with you, but I couldn't find the words So this is what I did I wrote this song for you And I hope you'll enjoy it Sure some may not understand But only you should care I wrote this song for you And every word is true I'm sure that I will be yours someday And if you ever leave me I don't know what I'd do I'd never be the same without you So don't ever leave me baby, don't ever make me blue Cuz I need you So I wrote this song for you And I hope you'll enjoy it Sure some may not understand But only you should care I wrote this song for you And every word is true I know that I will be yours someday

NARRATOR: It's five o'clock at the Local McDonald's. Ronald McDonald himself is currently entertaining the kids by doing the moonwalk. Suddenly, the door opens with a slight creak, and in walks Hot Carl with his empty stomach and his guitar... So I stepped into the Local McDonald's And I'm really hungry today Y'see, I've been exercising for four hours And I need some food really, really bad I walked up to the counter And ordered myself a burger Then I sat down myself in a chair And waited to be called Then they handed me my burger It smelled real good I opened up my mouth And then I heard it say Several magic words And I could not believe it! Guess what he said! BURGER: DON'T EAT ME, I'M A HAUNTED HAMBURGER! I WANT TO LIVE A MEATY LIFE AND I LOVE MY EXISTENCE, SIR OH PLEASE DON'T SWALLOW ME! And then I yelped (YAAAAAAAAAH...) Cuz y'see, these things don't talk (Mmm-hmm!) I dropped my burger on the table (kerplop!) And as he screamed (YAAAAAAAH...) He cursed upon hitting that table (#%@&%*!) I swiveled around instantly And I held up this magic mystery burger I opened my mouth once more And asked out to everyone at the Local McDonald's, "Who else got this burger?" One man spoke up and said, "I ordered fat with my haunted hamburger." Another guy said, "I ordered toast with my haunted hamburger." Another dude said, "Like totally man, I ordered frisky with my haunted hamburger." Some chick behind me, she exclaimed, "I ordered lonely with my haunted hamburger." This old guy right near me exclaimed in equal tones, "I ordered crazy with my haunted hamburger." This young kid right next to me said, "I ordered hole with my headburger." And then some fat guy exclaimed, "I ordered haunted hamburger with my haunted hamburger, OM NOM NOM." And even some skinny guy exclaimed that he had ordered suicide with his haunted hamburger! And the waiter exclaimed, "Haunted hamburger goes great with crazy, drug-induced psychedelic journeys and ketchup, OH YES!" NOT ORSON WELLES: THEY'RE EVEN BETTER RAW! And that was the news Everyone seems to have their own haunted hamburger And they even speak; they talk for hours Speaking in squishy rhyme Their lips decaying with time God, they smell weird And yet everyone's burger is decaying I guess it might be time for them to go Yes, that's right - it might be time to release the meat... RELEASE IT! RELEASE THE MEAT! RELEASE... THE... MEAT!! Run free, free as the air Run far, farther than the sea Run, my meat buddy Thank your haunted body And head for the hills Head for the hills! SOME PREACHER GUY: Praise the lard and pass the sauce!

In the city where the rain never falls A cold air breeze drifted from the mountains The blue skies melded into gray As a fog descended unto this city Every street and every light faded into the haze Creating a beautiful mixture of blues, whites, and oranges And as I stepped out onto the streets I saw the most magnificent visage surround me Oh, how I love the fog Oh, how I love the fog The sunset faded into the night As the fog's grays replaced the stars In every nook and cranny Spreading its love for all to see And as for me, well, I Walked around and breathed deep Took in that rare cold air And wished I had my camera with me Oh, how I love the fog Oh, how I love the fog

Left and right Up and down Side by side Fly the choices of life What one does What one says What one acts And what one thinks Create the choices of life Every day and every night During every hour minute by minute People make their choices in life You gotta believe what your mind tells you You gotta believe in the ones you trust You gotta believe in the one you love Cuz everything will work out Yes, everything will work out Two days back One day forward Ripples in time Generated by the choices of life What one feels What one enjoys What one avoids What one accepts Constitute the choices of life Through the endless wait Lie thoughts unsaid Would you believe their thoughts? You gotta believe what your mind tells you You gotta believe in the ones you trust You gotta believe in the one you love Cuz everything will work out Yes, everything will work out Yes, everything will work out 'Cause you made a great choice in life!

Every day feels the same There's no use in being optimistic about it Every night ends the same I feel like I'm going insane Deliver me now Deliver me now Deliver me now Deliver me now From this place where time stands still Where even the longest day feels more like a week Every place I go always seems empty There's no use in pretending people are there When everything you do just feels the same The monotony of it all can just fry your brain Deliver me now Deliver me now Deliver me now Deliver me now From this place where time stands still Where nobody is nobody and existence itself is moot Deliver me now Deliver me now Deliver me now Deliver me now From this place where time stands still

I've been falling forever since last week When I tripped on a rock and fell deep Into your little old stony well This whole experience is giving me hell And I'm getting tired of seeing my young face Reflected all over this horrid place Where there's no way to tell What's up and what's down in my endless cell Been pondering as I've been falling forever It's really nice of you to go and put it there At that party of yours back when we were kids I should've known something was amiss Now I'm feeling the pain and the shame Of falling forever with trouble to blame As I'm stuck here in my new home, this well Potentially trapped forever in my endless cell Now I'm feeling the pain and the shame Of falling forever with trouble to blame As I'm stuck here in my new home, this well Potentially trapped forever in my endless cell In my endless cell In my endless cell In my endless cell... (I hate my life.)